Play — The Secret Weapon for Serious Conversations

Unconventional Facilitation - Part 4

Philanthropy is serious work. But serious doesn’t have to mean somber.  In fact, when things get heavy, I often reach for an unexpected tool: play.

Why Play?

Play activates different parts of the brain—it opens creativity, builds connection, and interrupts tension.
It reminds families: We’re on the same team. When a meeting stalls or energy drops, I’ll pull out something playful:

• A cooperative challenge

• A round of Mad Libs

• A hands-on puzzle or prop

• Even light physical movement

These aren’t cheesy icebreakers. They’re strategic resets.

Picture a family gridlocked over grant priorities pausing for a playful exercise: Each person builds their “ideal foundation” out of LEGO bricks. Laughter ensues. And when we debrief, patterns emerge—shared values hidden under disagreement.

Play gets the brain unstuck. It shifts the emotional channel from frustration to curiosity.

Why it Works

Neuroscience shows that play stimulates problem-solving, empathy, and trust. It lowers cortisol (stress hormone) and increases dopamine (motivation). Translation: better mood, better decisions.

Play disarms defenses. It builds rapport. It makes space for joy—an underrated force in systems change.

But play must be safe and purposeful. Skip the cringey trust falls. Choose activities that align with your goals. Because when families laugh together, they remember why they care. And that memory can carry them through the hard parts.